the polaroid camera that i bought from eBay is gonna arrive tomorrow. i meant to take a couple of potraits of the people i love in my life to place it on my walls. one of those people is my grandfather.

was, my grandfather. i had meant to take a potrait of him, looking all artistic and me, feeling all pretentious like those people who take unbelievably beautiful pictures of their grandparents on the lomography community.

i feel like such a waste. like everything else is a waste. how do you get up from such a waste?

when i was cleaning out his cupboards and stuff i took his cigarette casing and his peppermint lozenges casing. apparently it is his favourite sweet.

was, his favourite sweet.

how do i get used to the cold that surrounds whenever i use the past tense?