oh god i hate everyone. i hate what life doesn't offer me. i hate it all.
why can't people just stay true to themselves and not be so, i don't know, showy? like why can't everyone whom i thought were perfect and down-to-earth just freaking stay that way? why are people whom i thought i fucking knew are now so fucking PRETENTIOUS!
yes. pretentious. i know i say that a lot (and with certain airs, to boot) but it's true.
and why are people suddenly talking about marriage!!!!! that is what's more suprising. i hate it when people change. i hate everything. i just want to get away. i especially hate, hate, hate it when people whom i'm close to are ~IN LOVE~ and seem to be blinded by the reality that i may be plummeting to some sort of breakdown and that they're all slowly vanishing.
yes, that mariah carey song. when syesha from idol sang it i cried. i fucking cried. suddenly when you're lonely it's like every fucking sad song suddenly, somehow, relates to you.
up yours mariah. what do you have to be so sad about. so what if your friends aren't there for you anymore. at least you're not broke.
i wish i could visit my 16 year old self. i would have changed things. i can't change things now because either i'm too proud or too afraid. mostly afraid. i have everything to lose.
here i am chasing after things which are so irrelevant. why do i chase after people's attention? because they're not just people. they're friends i thought i could rely on to. they're friends i grew up with. as exaggerated and pathetic as it sounds, they're friends who left me, and did not bother rekindling things back.
well one of them tried i guess, with a big fat "FUCK OFF" in my face. not literally but i felt enough to cry about it.
i can't get over things, yes.
anyway, my late atuk's been gone for 6 months. i can't even think about it without hating myself.
why can't people just stay true to themselves and not be so, i don't know, showy? like why can't everyone whom i thought were perfect and down-to-earth just freaking stay that way? why are people whom i thought i fucking knew are now so fucking PRETENTIOUS!
yes. pretentious. i know i say that a lot (and with certain airs, to boot) but it's true.
and why are people suddenly talking about marriage!!!!! that is what's more suprising. i hate it when people change. i hate everything. i just want to get away. i especially hate, hate, hate it when people whom i'm close to are ~IN LOVE~ and seem to be blinded by the reality that i may be plummeting to some sort of breakdown and that they're all slowly vanishing.
yes, that mariah carey song. when syesha from idol sang it i cried. i fucking cried. suddenly when you're lonely it's like every fucking sad song suddenly, somehow, relates to you.
up yours mariah. what do you have to be so sad about. so what if your friends aren't there for you anymore. at least you're not broke.
i wish i could visit my 16 year old self. i would have changed things. i can't change things now because either i'm too proud or too afraid. mostly afraid. i have everything to lose.
here i am chasing after things which are so irrelevant. why do i chase after people's attention? because they're not just people. they're friends i thought i could rely on to. they're friends i grew up with. as exaggerated and pathetic as it sounds, they're friends who left me, and did not bother rekindling things back.
well one of them tried i guess, with a big fat "FUCK OFF" in my face. not literally but i felt enough to cry about it.
i can't get over things, yes.
anyway, my late atuk's been gone for 6 months. i can't even think about it without hating myself.
posted by l'excessive at 8:24 AM
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